“I wanted, and want, to write because writing is connected to what I want to see happen and change in the world…I write myself into the world and out of it, I write my plans for the world every minute as I enter and reenter it.”
This is the last update of the year, so it will be rather bluntly and even brutally phrased; it is nearly impossible (and even if possible, not worth the time) to write about a combination of ill health and poverty with a light hand. I’ve been sick—and very sick and tired of being sick and tired—for over two months now. It began with a bad cold that morphed into the flu, and then a second cold (I now have a moratorium on handshakes and hugs till at least April), and then a long bout of what I would delicately call a period but which has felt like the Nile flowing out of me. Yes, I’m aware of all the ills the last could be a symptom of, and will look into all that as soon as I find healthcare I can trust.
For now: Once I’m done with deadlines by the 20th, I’m taking a break till about the 10th of January to rest and recuperate and to write as much as I can in an unstructured way. A few brief announcements, some of them reiterating what I’ve said in the recent past.
My subscription offers have been changing in the sense that I’m no longer placing work behind paywalls. The hard truth is that I don’t have the means or the time to ensure that no one will filch work, either out of sheer spite or because they delusionally think they’re “liberating” my work from capitalism, or something (apparently, fighting capitalism by taking away a writer’s livelihood is a thing in some circles). I’ve already had this happen and only a vast amount of shaming got the person involved to take the piece down—I don’t have the energy to do that every single time. Plus, I don’t have the stature of a Harper’s or a New York Times and hiding my work behind a paywall only means that more academics and wanna-be “public intellectuals” feel free to take my work and pass it off as their own (I have some forthcoming work giving specific examples). At this point in my career, I need my work to be out there in public view. Many of you have continued to support me despite these changes, and I thank you for that. If you’d like to keep up with my work, write to me and I’ll add you to my listser.
For those curious to know about how to support me: You can do so with paid subscriptions (and you can go above the suggested amounts), donate, or by promoting my work (I know that not everyone can afford even a small sum every month). Aside from the occasional presentation or workshop, writing is all I do and it is all I want to do. As I write here in “I’m a Freelance Writer. I Refuse to Write for Free,”: “I wanted, and want, to write because writing is connected to what I want to see happen and change in the world…I write myself into the world and out of it, I write my plans for the world every minute as I enter and reenter it.” Writing is all I want to do.
I’m moving steadily towards work that combines investigative and journalistic work with analysis, and that is because I’ve received so much support from subscribers and editors and been allowed to flex my writing muscles. I’m increasingly frustrated with left publishing, inundated with a million opinions and, worse, a dumping ground for some incredibly weak and vapid set of analyses by people who haven’t been able to find jobs in academia and are desperately hoping that their puffy op-eds in “independent, left publications,” quoting the same bits from the theorists they read in graduate school will give them positions (unpaid) as “public intellectuals” or work (also unpaid) as “writers.” Moving forward, I will still be producing the occasional op-ed-ish, analysis piece, but I’m also steadily working on pieces that require me to draw on the skills I acquired as a journalist, skills that most academics and other “public intellectuals” are snobbish about as they go about ignoring the reality of the damage being done in the world. The work will sometimes take longer than I anticipate—either because I’m constantly taken by surprise by some combination of pain and illness—or, as with the piece on Nanette, because its scope shifts over the course of the writing (what was supposed to be a 3000-word piece written over a month turned into a 14,000 word piece that took over four months).
Some of my topics for future pieces include: the “Left” in academia, how social media is redefining (or not) political and intellectual life, the problems with celebrity, how to make an entire university disappear in plain sight, Lena Dunham, and the state of LGBTQ politics “after” Gay Marriage.
Moving away from a popular trend in left publishing: I will not be producing work inflected with personal narratives. You are unlikely to learn anything more about my childhood or early life. If I report on a situation like the closure of a public university, you will get a dense, thorough, and considered analysis and report on the situation, not on how I’m feeling as I walk through the halls and classrooms.
For the record, I’m not a public intellectual. I’m an intellectual (something a brown, queer woman is never supposed to call herself), a writer, and an activist. We need to understand that holding on so desperately to the idea of “public intellectuals” is just another way for us to deny that intellectual work is actually labour, and that it ought to be compensated as such. I’m sick of public intellectuals who, whether black or white or white or queer, have taken the place of the boring talking heads we used to see on television, and who never really articulate original thoughts but manage to feign a lot of outrage and anger as they fulminate about whatever the topic of the day might be. There’s a homogeneity to “public intellectual” work that has intensified with all the rush to be as anti-Trump as possible. I’m not interested in giving you an opinion or report that you might want: my earlier work on topics like sex trafficking and gay marriage is proof of that. I’m far more interested in producing work that follows the integrity of a set of inquiries, no matter where they end up or how unpopular they might be. Again, most or all of this work will only appear on this website.
I’m shifting how I negotiate my social media presence. I’ll have a more detailed piece on this but for now: I’m increasingly disturbed by a growing and creepy sense that too many people are attached to complete strangers like me just because they see us as “public” figures. I also find that a great many people approach me, a brown, queer woman with profound disrespect, racism, and outright misogyny. I’ll have more later but for now, let me just say this: If you’re wondering how to approach me in public online or in real life without either fetishising me or insulting me, here’s a handy tip: Talk to me the way you would talk to Noam Chomsky. A good rule in life is to treat everyone with the respect you accord the White Men you revere. If you are scared and intimidated by me: Even better.
I’m not a luddite about social media, and actually enjoy using it, a lot. Without social media, India, an entire country, would have been lost to me (for complicated reasons I won’t go into right now). I would never have met once again so many of my beloved friends from childhood, or so many of my beloved friends of adulthood, and I would certainly never have a writing career. All of this is why I’m changing how I go about social media, not because I hate it but because I want to preserve the parts I truly love. Please note that I have no interest in gaining thousands of “followers”: I would much rather have actual friends on social media or engaged readers (who may or may not eventually become friends). There are lots of “public intellectual” people, mostly white men, on social media, who will satisfy any craving you might have for expressing fits of rage or petulance: Go to them.
Here’s a brief list of work I’ve produced over the last few months:
Your Trauma Is Your Passport: Hannah Gadsby, Nanette, and Global Citizenship
All the White Ladies: The Real Dinosaurs of Murphy Brown.
I was among those interviewed in this Briarpatch piece, by Daniel Karasik.
Nathan J. Robinson very kindly references my work on Human Rights Campaign in his “The ‘Human Rights Campaign’ Has Totally Betrayed Its Constituents.“
Justin Tse very kindly includes some words about me in this piece, “Let It Sit.”
I was on radio and television shows, and a couple of podcasts.
Here I am on WBEZ, talking about the Midterms.
Russia Today interviewed me about queer politics and the trans military ban.
Devyn Springer (who also happens to work with RT!) interviewed me for the Groundings podcast.
The News Never Ends had me on for the podcast, and it’s lovely and long.
I’ll end here, with all my best wishes to all for an excellent holiday season, wherever you are. May you find sleep and rest as comfortable and luscious as this.
Blood image GIF from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.
Don’t plagiarise any of this, in any way. Read and memorise “On Plagiarism.” There’s more forthcoming, as I point out in “The Plagiarism Papers.” I have used legal resources to punish and prevent plagiarism, and I am ruthless and persistent. If you’d like to support me, please donate and/or subscribe, or get me something from my wish list. Thank you.
