Categories
Race, Sex, Gender, and Sexuality

The Refusal to Fuck

Where are those who move on in life without marriage and children?

I’m reading through various accounts about and by survivors of sexual assault, for an ongoing project.  Here’s what I’m struck by: The constantly recurring idea that the proof of their “cure” or their ability to be integrated back into the world lies in….getting married and having children.  It’s always, “Today, she’s happily married with three children,” etc. 

You have to wonder, where are those who move on in life without marriage and children?  I doubt that it’s that they don’t exist, but rather that the pseudo-pyshchiatric industry (and I happen to believe in psychiatry) that has expanded in range as much as in its outright bullshittery simply can’t conceive of people moving on without the usual trappings of “normalcy.”  It’s also about defining “normal” or “moving on” only in acceptable ways – because, supposedly, only the ability to have sex and procreate can prove you’ve moved beyond. 

 And yet, no one considers the obvious solution: That perhaps fucking and producing children is no palliative or solution, and  that not fucking at all ever might actually be a perfectly rational solution to having been harmed, in any way, by fucking. 

Don’t plagiarise any of this, in any way.  I have used legal resources to punish and prevent plagiarism, and I am ruthless and persistent. I make a point of citing people and publications all the time: it’s not that hard to mention me in your work, and to refuse to do so and simply assimilate my work is plagiarism. You don’t have to agree with me to cite me properly; be an ethical grownup, and don’t make excuses for your plagiarism. Read and memorise “On Plagiarism.” There’s more forthcoming, as I point out in “The Plagiarism Papers.”  If you’d like to support me, please donate and/or subscribe, or get me something from my wish list. Thank you.

Image: Georgia O’Keefe, Black Iris, 1926